1. Play nice! Don't damage each other. Try not to damage yourself. Try not to damage my stuff.

2. If anything that someone says, is, does, doesn't do, wears, or doesn't wear offends you, it is your problem. Deal with it politely and quietly or go home.

3. "No" means they said NO. "Yes" means you said YES.

4. All rules following this one may be renegotiated at any time, with the consensus of those present.

5. Observe the posted hot tub rules.

6. Clothing optional anywhere in the house at any time. Outside, please don't get Brad into trouble by breaking the indecent exposure laws.

7. Please smoke only outside, especially if there's more than one smoker in the house.

8. Please do not alter the settings on the thermostat, computer, hot tub, TVs, stereos, or satellite dish until you have been checked out on them by Brad.

9. Any food and drink left out is for public consumption. Anything else, it can't hurt to ask.

Hot Tub Rules

• Don't overflow the tub. Normally, this means no more than 3 to 5 people at a time. Watch the "cut" corners, they spray.
• Keep the water clean. Shower and rinse thoroughly first, and don't condition your hair. Don't spill (or whatever) anything into the water.
• Naked folks only. There are good health and maintenance reasons, and besides, it's my hot tub so I get to set the rules.
• Leave the controls alone, at least until you've been checked out on them -- especially the thermostat. Controls were rewired and changed last on 07/15/96.
• Don't hurt yourself. Assume the floor around the tub is wet and slippery, and be careful. Be extra careful in or near the tub if you're intoxicated. Don't stay in too long, or you'll get light-headed. Pregnant women should consult their doctor first.

St. Louis County ordinances define Indecent Exposure as "The [public] showing of the human male or female genitals, pubic area or buttocks with less than a full opaque covering, or the showing of the female breast with less than a fully opaque covering of any portion thereof below the nipple, or the depiction of covered male genitals in a discernably turgid state," and defines Prohibited Sexual Conduct as, "any person, while in the public view, to engage in human sexual intercourse [or] any sexual act involving the genitals of one person and the mouth, tongue or anus of another person."